“While ADHD was an issue for my son, it was a bigger issue for me.  Not because I had ADHD, because I saw it as something that had to be fixed.  I learned he didn’t need to be fixed.  I needed to shift my perspective of trying to constantly address and change the ADHD out of my child.  He will always have ADHD.  I just need to help him embrace the good parts of ADHD, because believe me, there are some wonderful things about it. And I have to help him manage the challenges of ADHD by supporting him with strategies.

The Parenting program helped me find the tools to support him.  As a mom, my intentions were to help him, but by constantly trying to fix him, I had given him the message that something was wrong with him.  There is nothing wrong with him! He just needed support in managing “within the box” of what is expected in an educational setting that isn’t always conducive to ALL kids. What does that look like?  Well, it’s learning about how to advocate for him rather than trying to change him.  It’s about learning how to create a system that works best for him, for us.  It’s about making sure that, above all, he knows I am on his team.

Please hear me when I say it doesn’t mean he does no wrong.  It just means that he knows that as his parent, I am in his corner no matter what.  It means he knows we can acknowledge his struggles, embrace his gifts, receive grace when we need it, and extend grace to those that don’t understand enough about ADHD yet. My son is in high school now. Over the last few years I have seen his posture change. He used to look like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and was constantly on the defensive. That has changed. There are still struggles, but he has a smile and a joy that radiates from within now.  Not because we fixed him.  Because we fixed us!

It’s crazy to think back to what felt like the breaking point. And as exhausted as I felt, he felt it even more. Realizing that was key! Most of the time I am able to extend and receive that grace to myself for when I didn’t know what I was doing. Nonetheless, it breaks my heart to think about how he felt about himself as a result of it. So glad we have been able to repair the hurts and move forward. The kid is amazing. And although I knew it, I think he knows it now too. And it has also helped that his teachers understand more as a result of us being proactive.  I don’t know if we will ever get to a place of not having 0s on assignments, but he knows that our focus is on him as a person more than the traditional one size fits all approach typically found in school.”